Dis-barring Rules Lawyers
By Cape Rust
If you don’t know what a rules lawyer is, you have most likely run into one at the table or you call them by a different name. Rules lawyer is a commonly used, rather self-descriptive title. The rules lawyer, or better known by their scientific name Anus Retentive Detailis Monger, comes in many different varieties and while some have beneficial properties, others are detrimental or even fatal to a gaming session.
Lets start with the intrinsic value that a RL (Rules Lawyer) brings to the table. First the rules lawyer, by virtue and title, knows the rules. It is great to have a Rainman like figure at the table who can help keep the game going by flipping through their mental Rolodex and swiftly spouting off the rule that covers what dice to roll when an enraged Werewolf is biting a Techno-mage in the neck and clawing a Toreador vampire at the same time while fighting on a frost covered, two inch wide pipe with a 20mph crosswind during the winter solstice. Most groups don’t know all of the rules that cover this situation and having to look this stuff up in the middle of a fight can slow down a game and really take all of the players out of the feeling of the fight. After twenty minutes of thumbing through battered rulebooks, most players just stop caring. Then in swoops the rules lawyer and within seconds you are rolling dice and devouring your foes… omnomnomnomnom!
Rules lawyers have other beneficial uses as well that go beyond being great snacks for cannibals. Rules Lawyers are great to be and have around during sanctioned play or living games. Because these games can be for prizes or involve creating a character that will travel to other gaming tables that might contain complete strangers, it is important to follow the set rules so that everyone involved is on an even playing field and no questions about gear or loot arise. Rules lawyers can be wonderful to have around if you are involved in a convention game as well. Because of limited time and the fact that most players wont know each other, using the rules as a common ground isn’t the worst thing that could happen to a table.
As much of an asset as the aforementioned aspects of rules lawyers can be, most seem to hold the same place in our hearts as lawyers in the real world do. I heard a joke once that went like this this: “What do you call 10,000 Rules lawyers at the bottom of the sea? A good start!” Well, maybe they said regular lawyers but you get the point. If you haven’t figured it out by reading my article, I am not big on the rules. I like them and understand why they are there, but I refuse to follow them if they slow game play down or just seem stupid. There isn’t anything that can’t be solved with a call high or low roll with percentile dice, he call odd or even or if you are willing to give a penny for someone’s thoughts (Thanks Evil Hat), heads or tails.
I have given you some tabletop workarounds, but let’s focus back on the rules lawyers themselves. I said that while there are good things about rules lawyers, they can kill a game faster than I can get my moneys worth at an all you can eat buffet. The most important thing to do is to identify the rules lawyer (or lawyers) at the table. If you are at a Con, ask. Yes, it seems kind of strange, but ask. Then you know who can be an asset or if things go bad, an ass hat. If they are a self-proclaimed RL and you play things a bit loose, ask them if they can play in a game that might involve some “house” rules. If they are not willing to set aside their love and passion for RAW (Rules as Written) then advise them to find another game. If they say they are cool with whatever, then start rolling dice. If they regress into their nasty RL ways, kindly remind them that they said they were cool with your SWAGing rule.
That’s right, it is a rule and if they are going to be true RLs then they should know the rule and follow it. If you encounter the type of RL who is willing to put their naughty RL past behind them, use their knowledge base to assist game flow. Empower their need for the safety and security of the rules and ask them for a few rules clarifications during the game (even if you don’t need them, he says in a whispered voice).
Caution: some RLs only know the rules that will result in the best outcome for themselves or the players. If you see this pattern emerging, double-check rules that might counter the rule that the RL brought up and casually mention it at the beginning of the next game. This puts that RL on call without backing them into a corner. Say something to the effect that “RL you were right, but I read this rule that counteracts or supersedes the one that you mentioned, it’s no big deal but in the future, we’ll try to remember that.” This lets the RL know that you can read a rulebook as well and can help maintain your position as the person running the game.
If you are with your regular gaming group, then you should know who or whom your RLs are and how they think. It is important to remember that some RLs are just lawful in nature. If this is the case and gaming should be fun, go back to my RLs at the Con table tip. Empower their psychological need for the rules by deferring to their extensive knowledge of the rules when it is called for.
When I run a game, I normally remind my players that I play fast and loose with the rules and try to lay out as many of my house rules as I can from the start. This tends to defuse the tension before we even start. I generally try to angle house rules in favor of the players or ask for their input on the interpretation of a rule. This is a way to keep the entire group, including the RL, from questioning a house rule. After all, they all agreed to it.
However you choose to deal with your RLs, remember that RLs can be an asset to a game if dealt with correctly. Don’t waste precious game time fighting over rules. If you are running the game, adjudicate the rule and move on. If you make a bad call, own up to it and try to learn from the mistake, it isn’t quantum physics! Finally if you are a rules lawyer and you found this offensive, check yourself. You might be guilty of breaking the number 1 rule in gaming: HAVE FUN!